Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
