Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
