Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
