Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize