i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
