Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize