He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
