I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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