there's paper in my vomit.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
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