You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
