yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Randomize
