so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
