If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
