Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
