my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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