I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
