i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
