I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
