Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
