Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
