She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize