I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
