Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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