He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
