i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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