well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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