Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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