First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
