he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
