Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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