If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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