Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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