...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just had sex on a roof
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
