Jerry, you need to find god
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
