just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
