After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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