The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
