Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
How does it feel to date your dad?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
