i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
whose parrot is this?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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