i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
