I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
