I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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