Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
