wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
