and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
