I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You can't motorboat a personality
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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