There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
