I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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