we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Randomize
