i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize