So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
