Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
