He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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