if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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