So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
