Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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