I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
