Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
