STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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