why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
