is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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