I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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